Farewell

When we started this blog on the day of Barry's surgery we never imagined it would grow into what it has become. We also couldn't stand the thought that one day it might come to an end. Barry's Blog will always be here, but this will be the last post from us. Before we sign off, there is a little more that we'd like to say.

First, on behalf of the whole family, we would like to say thank you to all of you for your kind and thoughtful gestures. From the food, cards, flowers, donations and posts to the many kind words at the visitation and funeral. All of this has helped us get through the hard times.

We'd also like to let you know that we are all doing okay. We miss Barry terribly, but we know he's smiling down on us and encouraging us to take care of each other. We can hear him in our heads and picture him doing all of those Barry-like things. And we take comfort in knowing that heaven got a little funnier last week. We're not sure where God stands on Cohibas and Old Sam Rum, but whatever the circumstances, we are confident that Barry is enjoying himself.

Here is a poem that Jamie was planning to read at the funeral (were it not for a little oversite from the presider) and some remarks that he had prepared. Personally, I thought that might have been a little divine intervention from above-- even at his own funeral, Barry was probably a little antsy sitting there in church.

My Hero
by Debbie Hinton Young
As I ponder the love that I saw in his eyes,

A Godly love, given without compromise....

I recall many times that he stood by my side,

And prodded me on with great vigor and pride.

His voice ever confident, firm and yet fair,

Always speaking with patience, tenderness and care.

The power and might of his hands was so sure,

I knew there was nothing we couldn't endure.

It's true, a few others provided insight,

Yet, he laid the foundation that kept me upright.

He's the grandest of men to have lived on this earth,

Although he's not royal by stature or birth.

He's a man of great dignity, honor and strength.

His merits are noble, and of admirable length.

He's far greater than all other men that I know,

He's my Dad, he's my mentor, my friend and hero.

Dad taught me a lot in the past 35 years, perhaps nothing as valuable as the things he taught me over the last 16 months. He taught me to play the cards you are dealt and not feel sorry for yourself. Dad was facing a battle and he knew it. I think everyone will agree from reading the blog that he kept positive and enjoyed each day. He was always worried about making other people feel better. Secondly, he taught me the value of friends. How many people have a group of friends that would change their schedule to be with you, make meals for your family, open their house for your family to stay at, generally do anything that they thought would help out and make it easier on everyone? We can all hope to have a great group of friends like he and Pam. Thank you to everyone. Finally he taught us all the value of a hug (love). You never know when it is going to be the last time you will see someone so you have to let them know you love them whenever you can. Also he showed that a hug can brighten your day and everyone needs them. It's been an honor to call him Dad and we will never forget him. We only wish we all could have had more time with him.

Thank you for being on this journey with us. Dad enjoyed this blog immensely and drew great inspiration from your comments and the frequency with which you checked in on him. It has also meant a lot to all of us.

Hugs,

Jamie & Beth

P.S. We've posted some of our favorite Grampy Bear photos on the blog we keep for our kids: http://kgl2003bjl9.blogspot.com/

Arrangements and nice article

Dr. Barry Ling
The death occurred at The Palliative Care Unit of The Prince Edward Home , on Friday February 8, 2008 of Dr. Barry Ling of Charlottetown age 60 years. Beloved husband of Pamela (nee Moreside). Dear father of Jamie (Beth)Ling, David (Jenn)Ling, Suzie (Shane Dowling) and James Pickard. Grandfather of Katie, Caroline and Bates (Tugger). Son of Margaret and Elmer Ling. Brother of Norma (Mike) Alberg and Nancy (Gary) Nymark. Resting at MacLean Funeral Home Swan Chapel. Funeral Monday from Spring Park United Church at 11 a.m. Interment later in Sherwood Cemetery. If so desired memorials to The Cancer Society would be appreciated. Visiting hours Sunday from 2 to 4 and 7 to 9 p.m. Online condolences may be made at www.macleanfh.com

A nice article from Today's paper

http://www.theguardian.pe.ca/index.cfm?sid=106959&sc=98

Hugs to all.

One Last Bear Hug

Dad passed away peacefully early this morning with Pam, Suzie and James by his side.

Thanks everyone for being along with us on this journey. I know it made a difference to Dad and the family to have the love and support of friends. I hope the blog and Dad helped bring attention and reminders that everyone needs a hug and what is important in life.

Thanks to everyone especially the daily crew of Jack, Danny, Mike, and Terry. We can all hope to have friends like you guys.

Funeral arrangements are being made. The plan is to do the viewings on Sunday and the funeral on Monday but with out-of-town family it could change.

Hugs to All,
Jamie

Update and Thanks for the Stories

Dad's condition continues to worsen, as expected. He is comfortable and not in pain. Pam's niece was home recently for over a week to do the night shift to give Pam and Suzie a break. Thanks from everyone, Laura.

We appreciate all of the stories that you have emailed. Keep them coming if you have them. I have been sharing them with the rest of the family and they have really been fun to read. Some made us laugh and others brought a tear to hear how kind he was. I am going to share a couple of the stories that show the different sides of Dad.

From Jan Shepard:

"I clearly remember one Sunday morning when I still worked in Paeds. and had a small child (Christopher) who believe it or not also had a brain tumor. Barry came in to make his rounds and asked why Christopher was crying so. I told him all he wanted was a banana and apparently, having called dietary, there were none in the hospital that morning. Barry did not say a word. However about 30 minutes later Barry turned back up after going out to a store to buy bananas for Christopher. I found him in beside Christopher's crib where he was feeding him bananas and Christopher was nothing but smiles and banana mush. I cried at his love and generosity and told that story many times after."


From Jean Tingley:

"When Barry and I were both candidates in the 2003 election, it was then that I got to know him as a friend and really was thankful for his sense of humour. Anyone who is on the campaign trail definitely needs a sense of humour just to endure the rigorous schedule. I'm sure Barry remembers how great it was when we finally got rotated to the back row on the stage, far away from the prying eyes of the audience and he would let loose with his comments that had us in fits of laughter. Somehow, losing didn't matter because we really enjoyed the time we all spent together thanks to his sense of humour.

Near the end of the campaign I got really run down and my mouth broke out in cold sores and my bottom lip had a huge crack on it. The last night we were standing in line waiting to be announced to go on stage and Barry was making his usual crazy comments. Everytime I started to laugh at him it caused the crack on my lip to open and bleed. I finally told him to leave me alone because everytime he made me laugh my crack opened. He looked me right in the eye and said 'Wish I had known you when you were 16!' A classic Barry moment. "


From Sheila Molyneaux:

"I was told a story about the very proper head nurse on Unit 2 surgical unit at the QEH (Miss Charbelle? I think). One day, Barry sauntered to the nursing station and went up to Miss Charbelle, handed her sweater to her and said "you forgot this at my place last night". As the story was told, Miss C was mortified."

As Dad would say: "Don't wait until there is a crisis to appreciate your friends and loved ones. You know how much you appreciate a hug. So do they. We are very lucky to have each other. Show it."

Jamie

Update and a Request

I just got back from Charlottetown. Dad is still comfortable. He is slowly deterioating but he still recognizes everyone. He has some moments when you are surprised with how sharp he is. He still is cracking jokes and making people laugh. The staff there is great and his doctor is terrific at helping him with everything that is going on. It was good to see the so many people helping out Dad and Pam with everything. Suzie and Pam are almost living at Prince Edward Home and giving Dad all the love and care that he needs. His friends are great in helping him and giving Pam a chance for a break. Suzie and Pam have been taking turns staying at night in case he wakes up. I was glad I was able to take a turn to spend the night with Dad and give them a break. Pam's niece is coming home this weekend and I think she will give the night crew a break. Thanks again to everyone who is helping out.

One thing we thought of while I was there and laughing at some of the Dad stories that people were telling was how great it would be to have a collection of stories to look at but also for the grandkids to learn about their grandfather down the road when they are older. I must say that I have learned a lot about Dad that I didn't know from all the posts on the blog. It would be interesting to see the stories from friends, classmates, patients, family, etc. I set up an email address for people to send the stories to as we did not want all of them on the blog-- we all know that many of the Dad stories are not appropriate for public consumption! Please email a story, recollection, etc. about Dad, or even favorite photo to barrylingfamily@yahoo.ca. I will get them to Pam so they can have a copy at the PE home to read to Dad.

Dad told me to send a hug to everyone and he appreciates all the hugs and prayers that he is getting.

Jamie

Rest Needed

Dad is comfortable at the Prince Edward Home. The care is great and everyone is comfortable. He is feeling all right, all things considered. He tends to be better when he has gotten enough rest and the amount of rest he needs has greatly increased over the last week. Beacuse of this, the staff has advised that his visitors be limited to immediate family and very close friends in order to allow him to be the best that he can be. Dad and Pam appreciate all the support and visits, but hope everyone understands that Dad needs his rest.

Thanks for checking in.

Jamie

Update from Jamie

Happy New Year, everyone. I know it's been a while since Dad posted, and I am sure many of you have been checking for an update. Last week Dad decided that he needed more help getting around and he moved to the palliative care unit at Prince Edward Home. He says the care is great and he is enjoying it . . .and still harassing nurses! Pam is also enjoying it, since it allows her to resume her role as wife, rather than primary caregiver. In addition to Suzie, who has spent a lot of time with Dad over the last few months, Dave and Jenn are visiting again this week and Grammy & Poppy and Dad's sister, Nancy, and her husband Gary are over from Parsboro today. He has had a lot of visitors and continues to tell his favorite jokes and stories. While he doesn't have a computer in his room, he sees all the posts on the blog from printed copies, so this is still a great way to send him a message or some words of encouragement. Thanks for checking in. We'll provide another update in a few days.